What I’m about to share with you has nothing to do with business—but inspiration hit me this morning, and I felt that it was a great story to share on Thanksgiving day. So, here goes …
Last night, I overheard a conversation a young lady started in one of my favourite Facebook groups. She was wondering if anyone had any advice on where to find great men to date.
When I saw her question, I immediately thought of all the times in my life when I was single and looking for my soul mate. I also realized how much my approach to “manifesting” has changed since I first got started on this journey.
Many years ago, my self-esteem was so low I could hardly imagine that any guy would ever like me. Back in high school, many of my friends had already been through a series of relationships while I was still waiting for my first kiss.
There was nothing I wanted more desperately than love, but at the same time, it seemed like this big impossible thing that only existed in fairy tales.
It wasn’t that there was no one I was interested in, but every single time I fell in love, I could be sure there would be a reason why we couldn’t be together:
Either, he was gay (yep, that happened more than once), living somewhere far, far away, or already in a relationship with someone else.
It was quite frustrating!
Then, I discovered the world of online dating. At the age of 21, I was sick and tired of still being alone, so even though I didn’t exactly like the idea of meeting my soul mate on a bulletin board, I did what everyone was else doing and opened an account on one of the big dating sites.
And … it didn’t take long until I had my first date.
I had fun! And a few months later, I finally met someone who seemed compatible. We had a lot of the same interests, we enjoyed each other’s company, and finally, we fell in love.
We were together for almost 6 years. Then, something happened that I would never have thought possible.
The truth was that I hadn’t been happy in that relationship for quite a while. I wasn’t willing to admit it, but my soul was dying. I was stuck in a cage that had become so small I could hardly breathe.
In my daydreams, I was fantasizing about our wedding and imagining how awesome it would be to start a family someday soon.
But deep in my heart, things looked very different. Even though we got along well and never fought, there was no real connection between us. There was friendship, but no love. Not that kind of deep spiritual heart + soul love I was craving.
Then, the unthinkable happened: I fell head over heels for someone else. An artist who loved all the things I loved, and who seemed to be everything I had always wanted.
I was terrified. Guilt was eating me alive for loving someone I shouldn’t. But finally, I gave in. I left my boyfriend and started a new relationship with the first person who had ever felt like a true soul mate.
But again, I soon realized that things weren’t as rosy as they had seemed at first. I didn’t want to see it, but I knew deep down that he wasn’t as committed as he said he was.
He said he wanted to marry me, start a family, but he was also dating other girls behind my back, drowning in his addictions, and making many promises he couldn’t keep.
Finally, after almost three years of being together, I found the courage to break free. And I promised myself never to sell my soul for love again.
I knew that true love was waiting for me out there somewhere, and I was determined to find it.
When I embarked on my journey into the unknown (almost) 5 years ago, I knew that I was going to meet my prince charming somewhere overseas.
No more online dating, no more randomly meeting guys on Skype, no more long distance relationships.
I was ready for the real thing. True romance worthy of a real fairy princess. The magic of life lived fully.
And … magic sure happened! On my journey, I got to meet many incredible people in the most serendipitous ways. Soul sisters as well as brothers. The kind of divine heart and soul love I had only ever thought possible in dreams.
But … there was one problem. The secret of true and blissful romantic love continued to elude me.
Just like in the old days, I kept meeting guys I instantly fell in love with, but who didn’t feel the same way about me.
It was heartbreakingly painful. On my quest for love, I fell more deeply into the darkest darkness than ever before in my life. I spent many nights in tears and agony, almost ready to give up on life itself.
That’s when I met God. And that’s when everything changed.
I knew that I was loved no matter what. That no matter how challenging things would get in life, there would always be someone to catch me, hold me, listen to me, love me, even in my darkest hours.
It wasn’t an easy journey, but as I learned to surrender to that love I had truly been craving, the impossible became possible.
Knowing how loved I truly was, I learned to open my heart not just to others, but also to myself. And finally, once again, I found the courage to leap, say goodbye to all those guys who couldn’t love me the way I deserved it (knowing it wasn’t really about me), and …
On a rainy Sunday afternoon, during a much needed getaway in Nelson BC, a young man who had noticed me at a coffee place came over from across the street and asked me out. Just like that.
And I have to tell you the truth: Even though the story of how we met is very romantic, I was VERY resistant at first.
After being hurt so deeply so many times, I was SCARED of love, no matter how true it was.
But … he did something that no man in my life had ever done before:
He fought for me! He didn’t give up. He showed me that he cared. He listened to me with compassion. He was real and honest. He fought his demons to be with me, provide a home for me, start a new life with me, ask me to be his wife. (And yes, a little over a year ago, he spent the only $50 he had at the time to buy a ring for me.) :)
All of this, I am very grateful for today.
And even though love will certainly always be a journey, I’m glad I listened to my heart one more time (well, many more), no matter how afraid I was.
That’s what I wanted to share with you today.
Now, if you care to share, I’d love to hear from you:
What is the most romantic way you’ve ever met a soul mate, and what are some challenges you’ve had to overcome on your quest for true love? Join the conversation in the comments below!